The Yankee Stadium security team has recently found sunscreen to be a dangerous lethal weapon. They are banning all sunscreens from entering the Yankee Stadium.
That’s right folks, make sure to put your sunscreen on your skin before entering the stadium. If you happen to forget, just be ready for cancer-causing UV rays to enter straight into your pores for 3-4 hours.
Some people have retaliated by suing the city of New York as this new screening process puts most of their dumb citizens (who forget to put sunscreen on beforehand) under risk of skin cancer.
(Nothing is really true in this paragraph, I made some up…)
I think they should really make sure to hire smarter people next time for Stadium security. Heck, you might as well bann anything liquid at this point, I don’t see how people would bring in C4s packed in sunscreen bottles.
At Yankee Stadium, the security guards confiscating sunscreen. “Five hours in the upper deck with no sunscreen is crazy,” said one upper deck seasons ticket holder. Fans in the bleachers point out in the New York Post that the sun may be a bigger threat than Osama Bin Laden.